Sleep deprivation is a tough reality of early motherhood, with research indicating that on average, mothers loose approximately 400-750 hours of sleep in the first year of babies life. That’s the equivalent of 50 nights sleep! This can take a huge toll on the mother both physically and emotionally as well as affecting her relationships, particularly with her partner. Now it’s important to mention that all babies are different and some start to sleep longer stretches at night earlier than others, but in the early days all babies wake frequently for feeding because their bellies are tiny and need regular refills!
With my eldest son he didn’t start sleeping through the night until he was two years old, waking roughly every two hours from birth onwards and only being able to settle with a feed. This was extremly hard for both me and my partner and eventually the only thing that helped was night weaning. With my second son he woke about every 4-5 hours at night from birth which was a pleasant surprise as it was definately more manageable than the every 2 hours my first born had woke. He then started sleeping through the night from about three months. As you can imagine I was in shock! I couldn’t believe that I was a mother of a newborn baby that was sleeping through the night. I’d often sat in mother groups hearing other mothers talk about how their babies where sleeping through the night whilst struggling to keep my eyes open after another rough night. I was finally one of those mothers! However, it didn’t last too long as he went through a sleep regression at around 4 months old (which is very common) and now as I write this he is 10 months old and has been waking every 2-3 hours for the past 6 months depending on all kinds of things like growth spurts, teething etc!
So this post isn’t about how to get your baby to sleep because some babies just take longer to sleep through no matter what you do. It is about how to cope with sleep deprivation though, whether it’s in the early days or if you have an older baby or toddler who is still waking frequently. Below are my top tips for supporting yourself both physically and emotionally so that you can survive on less sleep without having a breakdown or loosing your mind!
Nap When Your Baby Naps - You’ve probably heard this suggestion before and it really is the best advice. Try to resist the urge to rush around getting housework done when bub is asleep and join him or her instead! If you can try and make up some lost sleep every day with napping then why wouldn’t you? Your wellbeing needs to be prioritised over laundry and dishes.
Ask Someone You Trust To Care For Baby Whilst You Nap – You could ask your partner, a relative or friend to look after your baby whilst you have a nap. Perhaps they could take bub for a nice walk or just watch them in the house if you prefer so that you can catch up on some sleep.
Get To Bed Before Midnight – Every hour before midnight is worth two when it comes to sleep quality. So make sure you get to bed before the clock strikes 12 so that the sleep that you do manage to get, although broken, is of good quality and therefore more restorative.
Prioritise During The Day – When you’re exhausted you really need to be careful about how you expend the little energy that you do have. Avoid putting too much on your plate and cramming too much into your day otherwise it will just drain you even faster. Instead, look at prioritising and try to minimise tasks each day. Outsourcing by asking others to help can be really useful here!
Eat Nutrient Dense Foods – Eating an abundance of foods rich in vitamins and minerals will help to support energy production, mood and hormones. I’m talking about colorful fruits and vegetables, particularly sweet potatoes, leafy greens, beetroot, carrots and berries plus wholegrains, nuts, seeds, beans and if you eat animal products then lean meats, eggs and full fat dairy.
Avoid High GI Foods – Eating foods with a high glycemic index such as white flour, refined carbs and white sugar will give you a quick burst of energy but then shortly after will cause you to crash feeling even more tired then you where before. Although it can be tempting to reach for the chocolate or a pastry for that quick energy boost it’s not something you really want to get into a regular habit of because it will end up causing you to feel even more tired. Instead opt for low GI foods such as sweet potatoes, oats, quinoa, nuts, seeds and berries. These foods have a slower release of energy because they take longer to break down. Therefore sustaining you longer!
Take A Multivitamin – Keep taking your prenatal multivitamin even after baby is born! Many mothers stop taking all of their supplements after birth which is actually when you need it most! Our energy and nutritional requirements skyrocket after birth due to the demands of healing, recovery and breastfeeding.
Increase Magnesium – Magnesium is an essential mineral required for energy production. It is also important for hormonal health and can help to treat and prevent anxiety. You can take it in supplement form, I prefer powder because it’s easier to digest and absorb, as well as increase it through your diet from leafy greens, nuts, seeds and wholegrains. You can also use it topically. Our body actually absorbs Magnesium best through our skin so soaking in epsom salt baths and applying magnesium topically can do wonders!
Increase B Vitamins – B Vitamins are important for energy production and mood regulation so increasing them through supplements as well as through foods is important. Foods that contain B vitamins include wholegrains, nuts and seeds. B12 is only available from animal products such as meat, eggs and dairy. So if you are vegan you will need a B12 supplement and to consume foods fortified with this nutrient.
Boost Your Fats – Our brains burn fat for energy so consuming fats from grass fed butter, ghee, eggs, nuts, seeds and oils such as olive, coconut, flaxseed and hemp are great for fueling our brain and therefore reducing the brain fog, poor concentration and fatigue that comes with sleep deprivation.
Up Your Iron – We loose iron through pregnancy, at birth due to loss of blood and then through post partum bleeding and breastfeeding. Iron is important for energy production so it’s essential that we ensure that we have adequate iron stores through taking iron supplements if needed and increasing our iron rich foods from leafy greens, nuts, seeds, beans and legumes, lean meats, dried apricots, dates and prunes.
Make A Daily Protein Smoothie – Smoothies are a great way to sneak extra nutrients into your body. Adding protein powder is a great way to boost energy and balance your blood sugar but make sure you find a protein powder that you both like the taste of and that agrees with your belly. The options are whey (from dairy), brown rice, pea protein or hemp, some also have a blend of these available. You can jazz up your smoothie by adding banana, berries, greens, flaxseed oil, cinnamon and nut milk for extra nutritional benefits and drink once or twice a day.
Connect With Likeminded Mothers – Having other mums that you can relate to is really important so that you don’t feel like you are the only one feeling sleep deprived. Connect with other mums through playgroups, baby rhyme time and local libraries, baby activities such as gymbaroo/swimming etc and find groups of like minded mums online. Facebook has so many groups for mums of different interests, demographics and location.
Get Out In Nature Daily – Getting out in nature daily can really help to lift your mood and help to energise you. Getting fresh air into your lungs and sunshine on your skin (with the added benefits of Vitamin D) can do wonders for making you feel better after a tough night. Even if you only walk to a local park or up and down your street if that’s all you can manage. Try to get out every day.
I hope that these tips will be useful and I also want to encourage you to regularly remind yourself that this phase is not forever . Just like a storm and just like the seasons, this stage of sleep deprivation will soon pass. Your baby will eventually learn to sleep through the night and you can look forward to getting those long stretches of sleep back again. But until then just know that it’s temporary and be kind to yourself, be gentle and release expectation, you are doing the best that you can and you are not alone. When you are up at night settling your baby know that their are millions of other mothers awake with you caring and tending to their little ones, wondering when they will get there sleep back too.
Sending lots of love from one sleep deprivated mumma to another!
Kate Xx
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